For Our Son: A BWWM Parenting Romance For Adults Read online

  Chapter seven

  Ryan awoke to Sophia’s confining grip around his waist. She liked to sleep as close to him as possible. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he didn’t like anyone touching him when he slept. He disengaged himself as quietly as possible and got up to go to the bathroom.

  Once back in bed, Ryan remained awake and stared at the ceiling. In two days he’d be going in to find out if he would be able to donate bone marrow to his son. It seemed like it should be such a life-altering event, but Ryan was sure he would have felt more strongly if a new restaurant opened across the street. Why did he feel this way? Why was he so detached?

  Wanting to think about anything besides the pressing matter at hand, Ryan rolled over on his side and watched Sophia as she slept. She’d asked him to move in with her and he’d avoided answering the question. He could tell she was aware of his avoidance but didn’t press him on the issue.

  Truth was, Ryan liked his freedom. Sure, things were good with Sophia, but being able to take time away from each other was what made them good. And not that he would admit this to anyone else, but Sophia’s jealousy was beginning to take its toll on him. At first he’d thought her little fits and bouts of faux rage were cute, but not anymore. Now he just thought the routine was old and tired.

  Across the room, the back pocket of Ryan’s jeans began to ring. He hurried to answer it for fear of waking up Sophia.

  "Hello?" he answered quickly and quietly. He didn’t bother to look on the display screen to see who he was talking to.

  "Ryan?"

  "Grace?"

  "Sorry to call you so late…were you in bed?"

  "No,” Ryan lied. After all, it was only ten o’clock and he didn’t want anyone to know he’d gone to bed so early. He walked out of the bedroom and shut the door so as not to disturb Sophia.

  "I just wanted you to know that I went to the doctor’s today. I’m not an eligible donor." Grace stated without taking a breath.

  "Wow…are you okay?" Ryan didn’t know what to say. He completely forgot that he was furious with her for their last conversation.

  "As well as can be expected. I would have been surprised if I was eligible, so it wasn’t a shock that I wasn’t. I feel bad for Matthew though."

  "Well I go Friday. I’ll let you know what happens."

  "Okay. I’ll keep my fingers crossed."

  There was a moment of silence and Ryan thought he’d lost his connection. "Hello?" he asked.

  "I’m here,” Grace confirmed. "I was just collecting my thoughts for what I had to tell you next…"

  "Uh-oh." Ryan braced himself.

  "Actually, I owe you an apology for the things I said about the adoption. I’m really sorry."

  "Ah, you were just upset." Ryan swatted at the air as if he could wave the incident away.

  "It’s no excuse. I didn’t mean it, you know."

  "Yes you did, but that’s okay. I’ve always known how you’ve felt about it, Grace."

  "Ryan, you made a decision that I couldn’t make. It was a decision that needed to be made and you knew that from the beginning. I didn’t. I couldn’t."

  "Some days I wish we’d have kept him, but most days, to be honest, I’m glad we didn’t. I feel horrible saying that, but…"

  "You shouldn’t. It means you know you did the right thing."

  "I guess."

  "Well, I’ll let you go. It’s late. Call me on Friday and let me know what happens. I’ll be so anxious I’ll barely be able to stand it."

  "Well, my appointment is at nine. Do you want to meet for lunch afterwards so that I can tell you what happened?"

  Although Grace lived almost an hour away, she agreed to meet up with Ryan for lunch on Friday. They decided on a place and time and then got off the phone.

  Sleep suddenly overtook Ryan. He yawned repeatedly as he walked back towards the bedroom. He almost tripped over Sophia as he attempted to walk through the bedroom door.

  "What the…?" Ryan wasn’t expecting her to be at the door.

  "What’s going on?" Sophia asked with wide eyes.

  "Nothing. Go back to bed."

  "Who were you talking to?"

  "It’s not a big deal. Grace just called to tell me she can’t be a donor."

  "Why not?"

  "She’s not a match."

  "Oh…well it’s a little late for her to be calling. Did you tell her that?"

  "Somehow, that wasn’t exactly what I was focused on at the time."

  Ryan crawled into bed and turned his back to Sophia with the hope that she’d take the hint and stop talking to him. She didn’t.

  "So you’re going out to lunch with her?" Sophia continued.

  "No, I’m not going out to lunch with her. She’s going to meet me after my doctor appointment so that I can tell her what the results are."

  "Where are you meeting?"

  "At a restaurant."

  "So you are going out to lunch with her!"

  "Sophia…” Ryan sighed in exhausted exasperation. “You make it sound like a date. It’s not a date. It’s just…we’re expecting the worst and I didn’t think she’d want the information delivered over the phone."

  "She gave you her news over the phone,” Sophia reminded him.

  Unwilling to argue, Ryan simply stated, "That she did."

  Sophia was silent for so long that Ryan thought she’d finally gone back to sleep, but suddenly she sat upright in bed.

  "Are we okay?" she asked.

  "What?" Ryan kept his eyes closed, further evidence that all he wanted to do was sleep.

  "Are we okay? Or should I be worried about all the time you’re spending with Grace?" Sophia reiterated.

  Ryan opened one eye and looked over at Sophia. "All the time? I’ve seen Grace once in eight years, Sophia. What time am I spending with her?"

  "You were just talking to her and you’re meeting her on Friday."

  "Sophia, I don’t know what you want me to say. Grace and I are over. I’m not in love with her, or anything, okay? We’re dealing with something very serious and when we’ve dealt with it, she’ll go back to her corner of the world and I’ll go back to mine, okay?"

  "But when will you be done dealing with it?"

  "Friday."

  Sophia was content with that answer, so much so that she leaned over Ryan and placed a kiss on his cheek. As soon as he heard her head hit the pillow, Ryan’s eyes popped open. Now he couldn’t sleep…again.

  Chapter eight

  Grace checked and re-checked the address Ryan had rambled off to her for the restaurant they’d be meeting at. She knew she was early to meet him, but there was only so much she could do to waste time. She resisted the urge to call his cell phone to see what was going on. She was so anxious and nervous that she couldn’t stand it. When she thought of young Matthew’s future looming in the air the way it was… well, she honestly didn’t even want to think about it.

  Grace’s anxiety over Ryan’s test results distracted Grace from being nervous about seeing Ryan again. It was unsettling the way someone she’d been so intimate with in the past had become a stranger to her. She knew almost nothing about him, save for his telephone number and the color of his truck.

  Did he have any of his old habits? Like, did he still put fries between the buns on his burgers? Did he leave half-empty soda cans all over the house, refusing to drink warm soda? Did he still wear boxer shorts, or had he made the switch to briefs? Grace chuckled to herself as she remembered Ryan’s disdain for ‘tighty-whities’.

  The ambience of the restaurant was casual. Grace sat near the front so that Ryan would see her when he walked in. While she waited, Grace looked over her notes for a paper one of her professors had given her an extension on. With everything that was going on, she’d had a hard time concentrating. She still wasn’t completely focused, but she worked well under pressure and she knew she wouldn’t be getting another extension.

  When Ryan walked in, Grace had her head down and was still workin
g away on her paper. He pointed her out to the hostess, relaying the fact that he didn’t need to be seated.

  "Happy Friday," Ryan said as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

  "Is it? You have good news then?" Grace asked anxiously.

  "Actually…no. I don’t. I’m not a match either."

  Grace felt the life and hope deflate out of her. She slumped against the back of the chair as if she’d been defeated. Her eyes watered as the situation settled upon her.

  "Sorry," Ryan offered.

  "It’s weird. I kept telling myself that you wouldn’t be a match, so that I’d be prepared when things didn’t work out, but…it still didn’t prepare me. I was hoping…"

  "Nothing wrong with hoping," Ryan looked very uncomfortable at how emotional Grace was being.

  "Did they say anything? Like maybe what they were going to try next?"

  "The doctor did say that the family had located some additional people who were willing to be tested."

  "Well that’s good. That’s good, right?"

  "Yeah, and he’s on a list to receive a bone marrow transplant. But I don’t know how long the list is…"

  "This seems unreal. Doesn’t it seem unreal to you?”

  "Actually, it seems a little too real for me. So real that I can almost not handle it." Ryan communicated his message: he wanted to talk about something else for awhile. "What are you working on?" He nodded towards Grace’s papers.

  "Term paper. I have to turn it in on Monday."

  "What’s it on?"

  "The fall of the Roman Empire."

  "Ugh.” Ryan made a face. "I don’t miss school at all."

  "No, I wouldn’t think you would." Grace smiled.

  Ryan wasn’t sure if that remark was simply a statement or an insult. Looking at Grace’s laid back demeanor, he decided against the latter.

  "So, what do you do when you’re not being a student?" Ryan asked.

  "Nothing. There isn’t much time for anything else."

  "Sounds lonely."

  "It is, but I prefer to look on the bright side. Besides, I have my own personal stalker."

  "A stalker?" Ryan looked serious.

  Grace laughed at Ryan’s reaction. "He’s not really a stalker. Just this guy I went out with once and now he won’t leave me alone. He’s harmless though."

  "Oh. Well that’s good."

  "What about you? Who’s keeping you company?" As soon as the question left Grace’s lips she regretted asking it. Why would she care whom or what was keeping him company? It’s not like she was interested in him or anything.

  "I have a girlfriend. We work together, actually."

  "That’s cool. What does she think about this whole ordeal?"

  "She actually wants me to make a documentary of it…from my perspective."

  "Are you going to do it?"

  "I don’t know. It seems a little intrusive. But for therapeutic purposes it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea."

  Grace nodded. She also thought it sounded a little intrusive, but she didn’t bother saying so in case Ryan went forward with the project.

  The server came and took their order, but both Grace and Ryan had decided that they weren’t that hungry so they decided to share a platter of mozzarella sticks that they each washed down with a local brand of craft beer.

  "So, do you work?" Ryan asked to keep up the conversation.

  "No. Just graduate school right now. I’ll start student teaching in the fall, though."

  "Teaching?" Ryan was surprised. "You? I thought you were going to be a lawyer or the next corporate wonder or something."

  Grace laughed. "That’s what everyone says. But that was something my parents wanted more than me. I’m more interested in…"

  "Art?" Ryan completed her sentence.

  "How’d you know?"

  "You used to talk about it all the time."

  It was one of the few references to a time when Ryan and Grace were together, as a couple. It seemed like a million years ago, but at the same time, just like yesterday.

  Grace was about to say something else about her choice of career when someone came up and stood next to the table. Grace looked over to see a very angry looking woman with auburn hair and sparkling green eyes.

  "Hello?" Grace greeted cautiously.

  Ryan looked a little pale as he sat up. "Sophia, what are you doing here?"

  "Oh, I was just in the area and I decided to stop by. You weren’t answering your cell phone and I wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

  Ryan reached down in his pocket and removed his cell phone. The power was off.

  "I forgot to turn it back on. You can’t have them on in the doctor’s office,” he explained.

  "And how’d that go?" Sophia asked.

  "No go. We’re not compatible,” Ryan stated stonily.

  "Well at least you can be done with all this." Sophia waved it away. Then she turned and looked at Grace as if she just realized she was sitting there. "I’m Sophia, Ryan’s girlfriend. And you are…"

  "Grace." Grace stuck her hand out to shake Sophia’s hand. Sophia accepted it as if Grace had leprosy.

  "Oh, you’re Grace. Ryan never told me what you looked like. He doesn’t have any pictures of you or anything." Sophia chuckled as if she’d just heard a joke.

  "Sophia." Ryan’s tone was warning.

  "What? You don’t have any pictures. Just stating a fact." Sophia defended herself.

  Grace was slightly amused at this person Ryan ended up with. It appeared as though he had gone back to dating shallow, vapid women. Grace prided herself in being different from all the rest.

  "Did you want to join us?" Grace asked.

  "Don’t mind if I do." Sophia took a seat.

  "We’re not really having lunch." Ryan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

  "I should have brought the video camera. I could have filmed the celebration right here in the restaurant." Sophia looked around, as if finding the place that offered the best lighting for shooting a film.

  "A celebration?" Grace asked.

  "Yeah. Now that this bone marrow silliness is over the parents can go shakedown someone else and our lives can go back to normal,” Sophia explained callously.

  Grace couldn’t believe her ears. "Shakedown?"

  "Well you have to admit, it is odd that they never contacted you until they needed something. Ryan never got any pictures, or cards, or anything."

  Grace tried hard to control her rising anger. "Ryan declined every offer of visitation the adoptive parents offered him. I guess they just got tired of being turned down and they quit asking. And this wasn’t a shakedown. Our little boy is fighting for his life. I’d do anything to help him." Grace turned and looked at Ryan, who sat back and allowed Sophia and Grace to discuss him as if he weren’t there. "Sorry this was such an inconvenience for you." Grace scooted her chair back and got up to leave.

  "Grace, wait!" Ryan stood up and attempted to stop her.

  Grace moved away from him and held up her hands. She’d had enough. "Goodbye, Ryan." Then to Sophia, "It was a pleasure."

  When Grace was gone, Ryan turned and stared at Sophia. "What was that?"

  "What?" Sophia asked innocently.

  "You know what. You made a fool out of yourself…and me!" Ryan was fuming.

  "That’s really what this is about, isn’t it? I embarrassed you in front of little-miss-know-it-all, huh?"

  "There you go again, inventing things in your head."

  "Am I?" Sophia pointed at the leftover cheese sticks before her. "Sharing a meal?"

  "I’d hardly call this a meal, and what’s your point?"

  "You hate to share food."

  "I hate to share your food. If you hadn’t noticed, we rarely eat the same things."

  Sophia was silent for a moment as she looked Ryan over. He was visibly frazzled. His cheeks were red, and he kept looking over his shoulder.

  "How come you never told me she was black?" Sophia asked.

/>   "I never told you anything about her,” Ryan answered.

  "That’s true. At least now I know why."

  "What’s that supposed to mean?"